long drives

There is something that really makes me happier than anything else.

I dearly love long drives with friends. Drives that have no destination are the best…

Songs drifting through the speakers, windows down allowing the breeze to mess up your hair…

Smiles, little giggles, past-time stories of nostalgia and the road blazing past…

Most of my favorite times have been while driving. I just love the idea of going somewhere, perhaps or the idea of going nowhere planned.

condemnation on the sidewalks…

It’s been three days since I saw the spectacle. I am still deeply sad about what I saw/hear on sixth street on Thursday.

Okay. I bet you can think of some major crazy stuff that I could have seen on sixth street….but it’s worse than you think.

I walked out of the cinema theatre in a haze of happiness from watching a quote-a-long of Real Genius, a totally cool, super geeky 80’s comedy movie. To be brutally acoustically attacked by so called “Christians.” These “Christians” were hate-filled, damnation spewing, verbally attacking Christian. They should on opposite corners with their war raging battle flags/signs that listed Thou shall not’s…The man was loud without a bullhorn. Shouting descriptions of hell.

I teared up. Not because I was won over to his side, but because of the fashion that these men believed would bring Austin women and men to Christ. It was painful to watch. People had different reactions – but all that I saw were negative. Shaking heads, FU’s, laughing…

This is not the way. This is not the way Jesus would want this word displayed. Matthew 6:5 – “When you pray, you are not to be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and on the street corners so that they may be seen by men. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full.”

I wanted to go up and beg them to stop, but all I could stand there and say was, “This is why people hate Christians.”

Matthew 6:6 – “But you, when you pray, go into your inner room, close your door and pray to your Father who is in secret, and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you.”

It breaks my heart, it breaks my heart…

“Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn’t it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life…You give them a piece of you. They didn’t ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn’t your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness…It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It’s a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain. I hate love.” – Neil GaimanI don’t understand, but I truly long for this pain that is love. I have felt this…and still I long for it? I hurt without and I’m sure to hurt with it. It’s a catch 22.

I’m waiting for that smile that drops me to my knees…